秒速５センチメートル

Byōsoku Go Senchimētoru

5 Centimeters Per Second

To desperately and blindly stretch out our hands towards the heavens,

to launch such a big mass into the sky,

and to fix our eyes on something in the darkness of the far reaches of space.

Even if only a little, i've come to realize why Tohno-kun seemed so different from the other boys.

And at the same time, i also came to the full understanding that Tohno-kun...

...would never look at me.

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Tohno-kun has always

...been looking at something far beyond, far higher than me.

I counld never give Tohno-kun that which he desires.

Even so..

Even so, i'm sure that even when tomorrow comes, or the day after, or thereafter,

i will still be helplessly in love with Tohno-kun

*******************************************

But even if we were to exchange a thousand emails...

...our hearts would probably not move even one centimeter closer together.

it's always about that unrequited love.

sparing spaghetti for noche buena this year

it's christmas eve!! yay!!

but this is the christmas season that i wasn't able to feel the christmas spirit that much. even if it's the christams vacation (the last christmas vacation) from the university, my groupmates and i need to work on our thesis. and when this is over, just a few more steps.. and i'll be kicking my way off from being a student, sounds fun and scary at the same time..

i have many thoughts now, so please be patient with my blabbing..

i'm still on the process of downloading the music station super live of ALL JE (i'm still thinking if i'll dl kat-tun as well, hehe). i'm late, yes.. because i haven't been seated in front of the pc for 3 days.. it's so unfortunate. still, the thesis is to be blamed.. ehhhhhh..

i've only watched the NewS perf.. i'm so happy that koyama dyed his hair black already and i think it's shorter. it suits him better than his previous hairstyle. ryo-chan tripped. HAHA. the kid, with futher enthusiasm, tripped because of himself. HAHA. they all look like they were having so so so much fun.. it was a good year for NewS, i'm hoping they'll have a lot more good years..

*******************************

LOOK WHAT I FOUND FROM OUR LOCAL GROCERY:

when i laid eyes on it, though i was extermely broke, i immediately bought it for the love of eito..

it tastes so much different from the usual locally-made yakisoba.

it tastes like ryo. haha

I ATE EITO'S YAKISOBA. WAHAHAHA

AND THIS IS RYO'S VERSION

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i'm ultimately happy that it started with a kiss has a second season airing already.

yay!!!!

back in the arms of zi shu and xiang qin.

this is a taiwanese drama that has a great part in my heart!!

and the first episode for They Kissed Again, was very sweet. i really love this pair. i can't get enough of it really. and the love scene.. woah.. joe cheng.. please be mine. haha

and i'll be watching the second episode later.. i'm soooooo excited!!!

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a few days earlier than christmas, this is the most WASAK present i've ever received.

oh dear Lord.

THIS IS THE COMBOEST OF ALL THE COMBO. -r. esguerra

**************************************

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

at this exact time 10:01 pm. december 18, 2007. i am saying this, one time, big time: i will never ever term that someone as my first love. ever again. period.

christmas bells are ringing.. bangbangbang

i am nothing but frustrated.

Christmas wishlist

(would santa know that this is a cure to my asthma?)

1. kanjani8's 47 dvd

2. kanjani8's photobook

3. kanjani8's 2008 calendar

4. NewS' s 2008 calendar

5. kanjani8's 47 dvd

6. kanjani8's 47 dvd

7. kanjani8's 47 dvd

8. ryo nishikido (with tacchon)

9. ryo nishikido

10. ryo nishikido

is this a greedy wishlist?

NO.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

tragic coincidences?

what has happened to me?

i just came from a 4-day community immersion (where i had a chance to have an 8-hour sleep. wow.) and i am so sick right now. i just need to lay down my thoughts about some things. no, not japanese things..

well. when i first heard about this news from a classmate my first thought was.. "oh, gossips.." then that night, though i needed to leave the house at 5 am, i really had to search for this news. and then truth came. and i was late (this probably describes how much attention i give to japan fandom, that i forget all other things i adored before it), because it was about 2 months ago. anyways, what's done is done. the kid disregarded safe sex and created a sperm and ovum meeting. fertilization at age 19. teenage pregnancy. we can't escape from pre-marital sex lines.

no. i'm not affected. truthfully.

term it right. i'm bothered. they're young, real young. and if you'll look at an ouside perspective into their lives, they have so much more that life can offer as youth. sobrang nakakapanghinayang. then now, they need to tick married for civil status, they stay in one bed at night, they wake up in the wee hours of the morning becuase of their daughter's cry. though they wouldn't admit it, they're restrained. starting the day they said thier vows, their tied.

do i sound bitter? haha

um. probably the right answer is "sort of". no, not because i used to stalk jai (honestly, i like klaire for jai), but because, they are blessed with so many things in life (i probably can't enumerate all) and it seems like with the action they did, they threw away opportunities that would require them as being single. and everybody can say A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES that is. they seem to be happy though. so who am i to judge?

all i can do is wish them luck. (well, they're rich so, it wouldn't bother them if the price of milk increases).

and i forgot to say.. their daughter's birthday is the same as mine. wow.

nagbabadyang coup de etat won't stop me

dearest Jesus,

i tried my best to be nice. i think i did. i tried my best to do my schoolworks. okay, probably not my very best, but i did all i can to pass all on time. so Jesus, am i asking too much if i place my pouch on the line for eito's photobook and tour dvd?

oh my, is this insanity, Jesus?

well, i don't know.

please, whether You categorize this as insanity or not, may You spare me some sign about this dilemma?

love,
nov

japanophobic, am i?

warning: this would be one hell of a post.

let me start with the day of ryo's birthday. so joligs celebrated our dear ryo-tan's tanjoubi with mucho love.

there's a cake in there. but ryo definitely tastes better than the cake and must therefore be prioritized to rule over the chocolate roll. the game is 'look for the cake'. it's there, i swear.

yerrow barroons for yerrow renji

banner with love made by reggie-chan


our humble chibog, with the pasta sponsored by angge.

we had a post-halloween/cosplay/ryo's birthday party that day. since we're bimbo, we settled with something that our purses can offer.

(forgive our amateur attemps to cosplay, but we tried our hardest.)



reg as makino tsukushi; me as hagu of honey & clover; chary as yamapi; angelica as haruhi; bans as misa amane

************************************

short story:
one day, because a university professor did not understand that friday is hell day for students/commuters going home at peak hours, four students had to travel from the uni until our homes for THREE HOURS. three gruesome hours. i had slept for already three times and when i woke up, the bus has not traveled one-fourth of the whole uni-home route. it was hell. and we're dead hungry. so one of the ppg had a sandwich, which filled up the stomachs of the four students. and that was the best one-fourth sandwich i tasted all my life.

when i arrived home from that looooong three-hour trip, all i wanted to do was eat. eat. eat. food. everthingaround me turned into food. so i ate. yum. when i was contemplating in my room about that excruciating home-bound trip, carps came in and handed me an expensive TREATMENT for that hell trip phobia.


sweet. real sweet thing. and with that the story ends.. but the listening didn't. ahahaha

********************

allow me talk about my latest addiction:

brain exercises for the love of challenge.

*************************************

IN AWE.

**************************************************

come on, aren't we supposed to make baklas?

i was contemplating in my jeepney ride to the hospital, when this was uttered by my mind:

"i think i'm withdrawing from my fandom soon.."

then, as soon as i entered the hospital premise, the song playing in the guard's radio was:

"love will lead you back.."

i haven't even made my move yet.

it was just some random thought.

carps, tulog. raj, tulog.

happy birthday ryo-kun. daisuki. *chu*

**wala lang. gusto kong bumati ulit e.

atelectasis secondary to fangirling

tasukete kudasai.

help.

sobra, kailangan ko na ng seryosong tulong.

1. yamapi, why are your pants sooooo low that your DOLCE AND GABBANA thingy is flashing (like neon green lights. merry christmas..)??

2. eito, why are we extending natsu-themed photoshoots? why? WHY?? nante? nante? nante?

3. and, mister nishikido ryo, uh. uhhhhmmmmm.. eee ..Eh? (*who am i? where am i? what's happening?)

4. SONO EGAO BOKU NI MISETE. why ryopi? why this song? why this tune? why this lyrics? why?




i swear people. i'll be dying from multi-organ failure if we continue this..

i'll never withdraw my love to thee, 亮-chan

it is NOVEMBER 3 in japan..

SO.

YY tanjoubi omedetou ryo-chan YY

you would probably not know how much i adore you.

nor would this greeting reach you.. but i love thee with all my heart.

i swear.

you're my ichiban.

forever will be my ichiban..

even in his chibi days he still looks kawaii

(there are fucking 5 folders for ryo pictures in my hard drive and i don't know which ones to chose)

to this creature who occupies a HUMUNGOUS space in my cerebrum, myocardium and hard drive (awww)

once again...

誕生日おめでとう

亮!!!

i am going to be a waffle too, someday..

so while i'm waiting for the 23 hours remaining before ryo's birthday (yeah, crazy.. sure..) i'll blog about the past happenings.

* i've finished season 1 of heroes. and season ender is a big "EH?". it was interesting by the first episodes but kind of slacked down in the mid episodes. i started regaining my interest with the episode when the setting was the future. then at the season ender.. uhm. well anyway, if the next season is over i would still take time watching that season 2.

**i've finished reading love, stargirl. and I AM DEFINITELY FOR LEO-STARGIRL. still for leo-stargirl. i missed leo actually. and i was teary-eyed (for the record, teary-eyed is still a big thing for me, since i am not a fan of crying at books.) with his

YES

favorite days would include:

March 23

October 11

November 18

December 20

December 24

and ofcourse, the Winter Solstice

***

How to Be Comfortable with Uncertainty?

You're cheating yourself out of today. Today is calling you, trying to get your attention, but you're stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up next morning and the today that you wasted is already gone forever.

Let the stars keep track of us. Let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collison of destinies!

Tears don't bounce. Light does.

::from Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli::

***

*** and for hana kimi, i am not done yet. still more episodes to come. but just one big (bold) comment:

I LOVE NANBA!!!

nov (i am not noberene)

november is in.

i'm famous again. because my name will be written in the blank for date today.



+, ryo is turning an age older.

and what are my plans?

a big I DUNNO.

can i bend time for just 3 weeks? **desperate**

i am but in the middle. of everything. really

well actually, not everything. just the things i am currently attending to.

i am at episode 20 of heroes season 1. so even until heroes i'm reading subtitles while hearing nihonggo (japan, would you mind slipping away from my side for a while?). so, this series is addictive. and aside from the fact that i love hiro (being japanese aside). for the record, this is the only series that made me have goosebumps for nth times...

hiro: i scared of me.
(me: wahahahahahaha)
hiro: hey future me, ..... ..... ....
(me: haahaha sugoi...)

so hiro never fails to make me rofl.

and currently, his time travels make me want to stick to this series till the season ender. just 3 more episodes to go.

***
and aside from heroes, i'm in page 160+ of love, stargirl. yes, i am finally reading it. but i miss leo.. i am a big stargirl-leo shipper still. but we'd still have to wait and look for that same line after i've finished reading.

***
and then, i'm continuing on hana kimi. oh oguri. oh oguri. oh oguri. i'm still in episode four, but oh how i love sano (but ofcourse), nakatsu (a real rofl) and NANBA. crap, i love nanba. nanba makes me gigglessssss.. (haha. ramon bautista is that you?)

and hana kimi is all boys. ALL BOYS.(well except for the pretender) which makes it double the fun!!

***
so this is why i'm in the middle of everything . almost everything.

i have one week left. (minus 2 nights.) woah. this is a big pain.


AND ..

LAST 4 DAYS BEFORE RYO'S BIRTHDAY.

i stole thursday

(-from i'm a cyborg, but that's OK)

yes, why should i define you?

probably because i wanted to categorize your existence. because we all slipped from each other one time, if you could still remember. and from there, i want to plot you. but too impossible. and so where do i begin? yeah. if i couldn't plot myself, then how can i plot you? i m point 1 over 0.

but i don't know. i am parellel blank. i don't know how i can live up to the webster's definition of friend for you guys. i am not good with words and i offer no great advice. i am mute in your company. reasons would most probably be because (1) you have sucked out all my words to speak; (2) i am simply born with no magical words to offer; (3) i know your cerebrum works inside your cranium; and (4) i don't give a damn.

forgive me if i have been so nonsense. which makes me feel sad as well. because you perceive me as one. yes, i am locked up to your minds just as a listener. nothing more to expect. i am trying to be a person with words to quote, but everybody guessed right: i am no good. this is probably one factor why i am no good with extravagant statements. because i am trying hard, trying hard and yet i am still categorized as "it's okay, what's important is that you listened." so who the hell would take into consideration the words i say? why the f*ck would anyone care about my opinion? i am a listener. just one.

and now it's all turned up side down. this is a window of my selfishness. i am still point blank. i do not know which route to take. would i persuade you to turn your back at what you're doing or should i just support you? i am unsteady.

so if you'd want to put me into words, take unsteady & selfish as top choice.

but who would care anyway. all i am is an ear.

cocoa for lowering blood pressure... i am pressured.

f*ck f*ck. f*ck.

utaban is mucho love. eito is an ocean of love. and need i say more about..

ryo?

just extreme love. i swear. the guy never fails. will never ever fail.

and instantly i am a AGAIN a dedicated ryo fangirl. no effort.

i am forever a ryo nishikido fangirl.

crap ryo, you make me wanna quit school and be a bum-illegal alien in japan.

if you can just hear me.. please, it becomes so hard to handle at times.. please don't pour down upon my senses all at the same time...

i am pulling my hair. next is i'm diagnosing my self a schizophrenic.



oh please.

i was thinking of quiting on you. but i can't. I JUST CAN'T.


BECAUSE YOU..

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF PULLING BACK YOUR WEARY FANGIRL.

I DON'T KNOW HOW. BUT YOU JUST APPEAR AT THE RIGHT MOMENT.

CRAP. I AM SO INTO NISHIKIDO RYO.

**utaban 20071018. vendy's blog. kanjani8 lj community**

I AM SO DEAD.

home-y feeling lures

there's an inviting window there

a thin line defines the boundaries between sanity and the addition of 'in' in the beginning of the word. most people probably see the word insanity as a negative term; but wouldn't it be equivalent to 'in sanity' as well? for about four days i was able to meet those who are 'in sanity', or if i may be allowed to call them the 'more than sane than the sane'.

we cannot define their world, for they themselves cannot define it. but their world defines them. they live in it, they wake up each day and journey in it. in my subconscious mind, i admit that i want to travel their road too (who would want to join me?).

when i first stepped in Sanctuary, i was thinking that eveybody was acting well. "we're crazy, we're schizophrenics, and we're acting", that was what repeated on my mind. what i see mostly in tv programs laid right before my eyes. but this time, no film strips are rolling and they aren't running for best actresses. everybody was diagnosed, everybody is defined by science to be out of the 'normal' interval.

who would want to live there? i am but happy to raise my hand for this question. because roaming around would satisfy my being. i would be glad to dive into the minds of the "in sanity" humans. i would want to listen to their stories and believe they'll one day have their gate passes, salute the guards and ride their way back home. but that is one of the sad reality for the Sanctuary's transients. they choose to convert themselves to residents because no home awaits their return. i, myself, do not know how i would be able to run them help. probably my most helpful tool would be to listen. (therapeutic intervention involves silence)...

so how do i classify myself?

a schizophrenic, to have a voice-friend?

a dysthymic, to not receive rants because of excessive hours of sleep?

a bipolar, as to not give explanations for unpredictable mood swings?

or most probably,

just let me feel as humane as them..

there's an inviting window there..

where i saw myself gardening in their yard

where i saw myself roaming

where i saw myself looking through during afternoons

but still. can't reach that place.

for i still belong to the 'sane' ones.

compromising what conforms

pronounce it, this way: gasambayd

yattaaaaaaa!!!

i've passed our revised research proposal just hours ago and now i'm off for sembreak.. wooohhooooo!! (sa wakas!!)

i don't recognize anyone from my fandom anymore. please pull me back into being human again...

i have about two weeks of rest. i'm crossing my fingers that it would be worthwhile.

i have to save, to download, to upload, to read.. and i know two weeks would not be enough.. but i'm hoping to finish some things.

for now, i'm just happy that i'm still surviving acad works and excited into coming back to my fangirling.

yay!!

i won't go for the ipod. i'd go for you. (ehem)

whew.

i am down to the last research defense before the end of this semester (except for grade slip distribution though). then, i've got my last semester after this. but a few more major exams coming up. i am still hoping i'd get my degree without problems (woah. that's degree i'm talking about. it's so big.) anyway, break is coming just 2 last days and ... ... ... i don't know.

when i opened this blog and saw the countdown to ryo's birthday, i went: "oh my god, it's so near, and i haven't prepared anything for his birthday." it's not that i am required into doing some presento for him. i just felt that i needed to exert effort and say to the world that "hey, i'm nishikido ryo's big fangirl!!" but time is not on my side.

i'm hoping i'd come up with something though.



and what is that ipod all about?
here.

today, i can submit my self to sanctuary. i will not refuse.

BaRyo chu-ing.

this is so damn ajfshuawehrufsjfha..

i don't know of how to react.

and i was left speechless for a minute. i'm not exaggerating. this is so....

you're exuding pink aura. awww

it's this guy's birthday today...

my dear toma, i'll be attending to hanakimi episodes soon.

(as soon as i get out of school crap. promise.)

and i do not doubt that you'll enter cbj after that.

tanjoubi omedetou, toma!!!!

matu slaps where she shouldn't

what has happen to this world?

god, i've been out talking with schizo and bipolars,
and then whatthef*ck has occured into junno?
why junno, why? why the hair?

but then, nihon jins are nihon jins.. never mind.
just like how nishikido changed from black to brown to blonde then black again..

you're goddamn unpredictable, people... (you're moving in line with kitagawa.)

but the guy, the guy..

NISHIKIDO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAMETE KUDASAI...................

thanks to vendy's site for this pic.

no other words. just plain delicious.

***************************************
this semester is coming to an end. and still all works and requirements are piling up. just last 2 weeks. at least, this day, i'm one down for this semester's last tortures. i think i won't be blogging much the next days, just like this last week. and oh, God, help us!!

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because of my frustration from the previous NewS dvd that i ordered, i was not able to restrain my self not to click on the order link for their new album. so i'm starving myself again. johnny is bankrupting me. and what i hate the most is that i'm submitting to it. so why did i, crazily order this one again? becasue of the simple reason that i still have access to the LIMITED EDITION.

okay.. okay.. tie me up now and bring me to sanctuary center. then, blame kitagawa.

*************************************
can i just say i'm so envious with NewS in taiwan. hmph.

*************************************
wah. i hate it. i don't know when will be the time that i'd be able to finish dl-ing the scans from vendy. (***curses uni requirements..)

*************************************
there's also some stories i want to share from the sacntuary. but probably some otehr day..

*************************************
wait i think i now know the reason behind junno's hair. i think it's because of his dorama with yoko. i'm not sure though.

there's an inviting window there...

where was i?



i don't know either.









the pc's motherboard gave up. (and said: "too much japan, is crap..") whatever. you(motherboard) can't do anything, anyway.

so this is why i was out of the league for quite some time. and because i'm entangled in school crap.



i still have so many stuff to do. so i'm just elevating from here.



ja..

i am for the love of feather's survival. let's save the chickens!!

okay johnny..

yes, indeed, johnny-san has provided me with so much joy, but i can't can't turn my back on toma. why the f*ck hasn't toma, hasejun and kazama debuted?

i am very much bothered that it seems like he has skipped looking in the juniors.

oh i love yuto, and i am happy that he has debuted.. cute cute kid (with a bright future there is).. but toma, toma, toma... has been in the jimusho for sooooooo long. really unfair.

anyway, let's cheer for our new johnny's group.. Hey Say JUMP!!
(and wtf is that name johnny? -- Hey Say JUMP! - wtf?!!)

let's cheer for yuto.. and yamada. and the other kids (they really are kids..)

hey, i missed a day on greeting subaru...

o-tanjoubi omedetou shibutani subaru!!

wait, i have no subaru pic. so i'm posting a k8 pic instead..


well, not k8, but a subaru, tachon & ryo (ryo still in it. crap.) pic.
subaru is the one wearing a kimono. uhmm.. okay, he's wearing something with blue, yeahhh..
haha. fine. subaru, not exposing his ever-so-eccentric hair, has his hair tied-up in this pic.
ohh.. i love those kimono-wearing guys..

*****************************************
yesterday, we escaped our seminar and instead spent some time being kids again..

fairview witches

powerpuff girls (fairview version) minus blossom

i wish someone would give me this wig as a gift in time for halloween

(we didn't actually buy that thing. we just said we'll see how it fits, took a picture, then we left. hahaha)

monsterized corimba

this makes me so excited for halloween. i haven't started conceptualizing on my costume. (yes, CONCEPTUALIZING. because halloween is a BIG event for me.)
but, i'll definitely be stealing some time. DEFINITELY.

best asthmatic wheeze award. hurrah!

our pc is reborn!!

yukata... so happy!!

but my folder is over empty.

all gone. gone

GONE....

but thanks to reg (who came this night with janis and chary) and shared to me her files.

at least its a way to start.

i'm so overwhelmed (and lazy) in saving pics, icons, gifs and fandom stuff.

*************************************

but nyanyanyanyanya

i'm sharing my never ending wonderful story dvd pics now. this is so late, but i still insist on posting (and bragging) these.

lalalalala..

here comes the NewS pics when i got the dvd.

it's so late. mengo, mengo.