'it pains me to breathe'

i remember sometime ago that i took time looking for the song of the sprite ad with lyrics: "i'm falling away with you..."

and lucky enough, when i looked for it in youtube today. a video provided me with dl location.

this song is LOVE.
(i am dying to hear someone sing this to me at this point of my life.)

here's the lyrics:

FALLING AWAY WITH YOU

I’m falling away
I’m falling away with you

We can’t always say
In the cool light of day what’s true

Time may heal your wounds
I’ll see you through

I thought we’d create
hearts in a sea of blue
We’d give and not take
I said I believed in you

But I’m falling away
I’m falling away with you
Time may heal your wounds
I’m seeing you through
Your eyes may fade from view
I’m seeing you through..

I’m torn at the seams
It pains me to breathe
You think you’re not needed
But I feel your pain
It’s alway the same
But let’s not feed it
Yet here in my soul
I want you to know
I’ll never leave

There’s nothing to say
No more charades for fools
I came here to stay
I’m falling away with you
I’m falling away
I’m falling away with you..

Time may heal your wounds
I’ll see you through
Your eyes may fade from view
I’ll see you through
Time may heal your wounds
I’ll see you through

I’m falling away
I’m falling away with you
I’m falling away

got this lyrics from this site: HERE.i think the writer gave most information you'd want to know about the ad and the song.and there's also places where you can down the song.
but just in case, here's where i downloaded it: Sprite zero. it's a German site, but i am pretty sure anyone can manage knowing where the download links are.

how can i be purple?

i am going to list down my exact exact exact thoughts right now. this is probably going to be emo, just to warn. because i think laying these down would help me ease up.

1. ?

i am in total question mark when asked what i want to do. I DO NOT KNOW. some of my friends have their jobs already, of course not as RNs, but in the field of customer service. if you'd ask me if i want to enter that field too, i'd say with all honesty that 'yes' but solely because of the salary. i have a lot in mind of what to do with that salary. i want to help with house expenses, and buy things that i want. and because after 4 months of finishing NLE, i still belong to the unproductive category of this nation. BUT. i am torn with the next option of wanting to be a hospital volunteer. i can't just let my four years of college learning (+ 2 more months) slip through my mind. and what's the use of gaining license and not using it. plus, having trainings would allow me to enhance clinical skills, and be used for future employment, where ever it may be.

2. this, that, then that and this

i am such a lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy person. i just stay at home. watch tv, internet, sleep. THE IDEAL BUM LIFE IT IS. i have reasons why i don't want to pass my resume to both customer service company and hospital (as volunteer). (a.) i am lazy. i can't get up early and push myself to walk outside our house. (b.) my resume is nonsense. a piece of paper that just has no impact at all. i have no confidence with it because i don't know how to properly make one and no matter what i do, i was never an active student/citizen. damn. and what's more? i lack seminars and workshops. (c.) i don't know where to start (which sounds like reason a). (d.) i want to finish downloading a lot of things (which seems unending because every waking day there is another one waiting to be downloaded, and so how about the past ones? shit.)

3. look at them

my friends, my classmates they're heading to their paths. i am bothered because i am NOT bothered. like when they're saying and writing that they passed their resume here, there, all i can say is 'okay'. wait, since i wrote that i am bothered that i am not bothered, so probably i am bothered just for real. (damn, so confusing). okay, okay. rephrase. i think, I USED TO BE BOTHERED. because they had attended so many seminars and i haven't, they have passed their resumes and i haven't even created mine, and their life is going somewhere while mine is staying at home. which made me resort to just creating a reason that 'i am going nowhere, i'll wait till my sun shine towards a certain path' ---> so not good. and i offer that reason always when i hear their new stories ---> so so not good again.

4. blah

i don't want to ask anymore from my otousan, because every time i ask for something, he's just giving me nonstop list of qualms.complains.

5. not again
i'd want to go and do my own life alone. alone and independent of friends. yes, it's because of this.

6. i want to lose weight. LOL.



---> i think my prediction is wrong and this entry didn't sound emo at all.

it's not lupus

house won an emmy!

best director for a drama series for greg yaitanes for the finale episode of season 4: house's head (spoilers!)

this is my most loved US medical-drama series. and i found that particular episode very superb. well, all their season-enders are really amazingly done. but then, not only their season-enders, i think all episodes of house are worth wasting an hour of your day for.

in this episode, house was struggling to swim through his temporary amnesia. and the way they created this episode was exemplary. and also giving credit to the very last episode of season 4. where the dear cut-through bitch did her goodbye. house's season enders are really to be praised.

the new season has already started but i haven't watched any episodes yet. it's very intriguing to know what will become of wilson and house's friendship. i hope i can find somewhere to download it.

i am looking forward to all the sarcasm and the medical cases.


pictures grabbed from house facebook.

reincarnate

yay! i am slowly improving my photoshop skills. yay! XD


but i am still doomed. still can't find where on this hard drive has the FANDOM folder lost itself. so i guess, i'll have to start downloading all over again. T__T tragic but true. no where else to go.

don't want

i think i am cursed. this fangirling thing is cursed. because i don't know why, but my FANDOM folder was all of a sudden unseen. all of my other files were there except for the FANDOM folder. darn. downloading is such a crucial work. and that is a lot of download. damn.

emotional turbulence

i don't want to be attached to any of you right now. i think i have lost myself a long time ago when i became a part of a group of friends, and solely just 'a part'. i can't find any sense of belonging to the people whom i call friends, that's why i don't want to see you or hear any stories from you. because i think i used to be someone else, before i became indulged into being a friend or being someone inside a friendship. somehow, i think i realized, it became tiring getting along as your friend. and it made me ponder, 'why is it such a burden for me to go when you're calling for a meet-up?', 'why am i literally just dragging myself to meet up all of you?'. i think i somehow lost interest in listening, and plainly just listening.

i am rotten inside. that's why i need to try and repair my self. i don't know when was the time that i left behind who i used to be. but i know, i changed. and i am in an unhealthy changed one now.

and even more, i am losing my esteem when i am with you and i hear your stories. i am becoming more and more indulged in self-pity. and that is so not healthy.

i have diagnosed myself (based on the manifestations written in the psych nursing book) as a schizoid. though not completely, but somewhat it mirrors what i feel and what is happening in me. emotionally unstable.

i don't want to drain myself in depression, but i think seeing anyone of you, would add oil to the fire. so forgive me. i breathed and faced the lowest and darkest days of my life alone. alone. so i think i should just go on and solve my internal conflict alone. but i reckon any one of you would know about this. you have lives; you had turned to different directions from where we used to face together and i need to accept that.


darn, internal emotional disturbance.

i switched my love to guido

(i don't know why, but this afternoon, i had great initiative about writing something about the ateneo-la salle game, but right now, i just lost the interest .)

okay just some things about the game..

i watched it, though i had nothing to do with both teams, it's just that, though i had said that i will not cheer again for ateneo, i am still rooting for them over la salle. jai had a good game, might be even one of his greatest (but idk, i didn't follow most of ateneo's game this season.) then, klaire was featured as face of the game (something like that) and was introduced with the last name reyes and jai's wife. so that's it. just wanted to blog about that. (what the heck?)

............................

i am excited for ryusei no kizuna.

can't wait for ryo- nino (and erika toda). :)

XD

i think this is something cool. we owe this smiley to this man. (click the smiling thing!)

:-)

i am a few hours late though in celebrating it's birthday.

anyway, happy birthday :-) !! you're older than me. haha.

can't get enough of your rants, darn

i have to ready my purse (and find a job, in that case) because the DV guy won. (and what do i care about people who does not agree.. go create your own award-giving program. lol)


57th television drama academy awards best supporting actor.

rainbow report 01

NEWS's happy birthday video is sooo white. it's so difficult seeing them. LOL. but for real, the background is white and they're wearing white. i didn't like it as much as i liked the weeeeek pv. (blame it on the too-much-white idea..)

nonetheless, i think it was still a fun pv.

yamapi, are you looking for trouble and wanting to follow the roads of kusano and uchi?


i'm definitely buying this monopoly news version if this comes out in the philippine market.


massu as his usual self
(let's try to ignore koyashige for this massu-burger series)


yamapi, trying to attack massu's precious burger

massu: ...


massu: eh?!


massu: wait a minute?!!


massu: nice try yamashita.. nice try. but food is equals to mine..


koyama and shige trying their go at the liquor.
(this is such a 'drunkard news' video. calling mr. kitagawa!!)


oh.. that step is so reminiscent of cherish days.. aww


but ofcourse. rainbows.
(we can never disregard that.)

stolen from someone else's blog

The Rules:
1. Write something about 15 different people.
2. You can NOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about them, you can NOT tell.

1. i don't think i'd want to see you anytime soon. i'm still searching for me.

2. nope, i'm not interested to hear your bundle of stories.

3. libre!!! sumesweldo hindi nanlilibre. che

4. you know, there's life outside being a fan of your hailed idol. duh.

5. go loose it. i don't care anymore and i think i'll stop caring for you and the others for a while more. i have long been uninterested with your nonstop stories about your bf. i missed who you used to be. and how we used to be. i don't think i'd want to see or hear anything from you anytime soon.

6. you sutil little girl. you still don't know how to talk properly, so don't go pushing buttons you're not supposed to push. (my downloads!!!!)

7. where on earth are you?

8. it's okay. there are also upsides of being single. i hope you'll recover soon.

9. aishiteru. news wa kanojo honto ni desu ka? demo, whatever it may be, atashiwa suki da you. eien ni.

10. happy bassday...

11. i still don't know when i'll be able to talk to you normally again. hopefully, soon. but i'm too unpredictable and ma-pride to put that into action.

12. i'm so sorry. i can't reply to your message because i'm in a intrapesonal conflict, and most particularly i don't want to hear stories about that certain aspect of people.

13. yeah, you deserve more than someone who can't even say a simple thank you.

14. forever and ever, i'll be thankful for your listening. you're the only one who cared to listen.

15. why are you red? and your eyes are bulging. LOL.

the word tarmac was popular

I am a hero.
I do what I believe is right.
I do what I believe is good.
I fight for justice.
I fight for freedom.
I am a hero.
In a big way, in a small way.
In my own way.
I am a hero.
I am Ninoy.

iamninoy.com

sky key

yep. i am still alive.

and because i am a victim of total intra and interpersonal chaos, i think i somehow changed from what i used to be. woah.

well, anyway, i refused to have access to a computer nor to an internet for more than six weeks i think. so the rumor of ryo having a real-life girlfriend didn't struck me much.

damn. i am definitely losing grip of japan fandom (and of a lot of other things).

but i refuse to turn my back. fandom is the only thing that made me happy. then it was taken away from me. so probably i am in my recovery period right now. and i am hoping i'll still be able to make fandom as my only happy thing. (yes, i have a very shitty, dull and sad real life. sad but true.)

so ryo has a real-life girlfriend huh?

anyway, i hope from this day forward i can return to my previous self. i know it wasn't healthy, but i was contented with the happiness japan fandom provides during those days. i want to go back that way.