so want this!

i want this ambulance for my country!

OMG so for the win!

this is rather weird because i didn't post anything about Orthros no Inu aside from this ambulance. LOL

this way or this way?

ryo lead role: awwww.
and instead of caring for a sick love interest, he's the ill-fated one. this is gonna make my tear glands active again.

july is just a month away as well. and toycon is next week. i'm so exited for a lot of things.

and

i'm confused with a lot of things.

right now, i'm right at the edge of a crossroad. it's hard to weigh which path to take. please give me relevant signs. i beg.

the sky is gelatin and the cloud is red

i am pimping my new lj.

erythrocloud

it's because i've had enough of TOO MUCH jap. i needed something personal. plus, my friends page is already speaking japanese. uh, too much japan. but i am really bad at disclosing, so it will probably remain empty. AGAIN.

gelatinsky still exists and i still check it regularly. though i've lost thousand miles of interest over JE fandom, i still linger. LOL. i float..


i cannot see anything reasonable with bella swan. damn. i award her as my most hated fictional character from a book. sorry, no offense, but gawd, i spent a full twenty minutes cussing and cursing her. which i realized, was not worth the time. BUT, really, the character just made me feel extreme anger. why is she like that?
oh anyway, i'll try to spare her even a infinitesimal atom because i still have breaking dawn to finish.
and i am so glad my anger didn't reach my dreams last night. dang.

notepad notes

this is really tiring.
ranting over the same thing again and again.

and hurting even more because you're considering it your major problem, while nobody's bothering about it at all.

in my mind, i am recalling of a time when somebody gave me a hug when i felt so down.
sadly, i trace nothing.
is there even a time when somebody noticed that i was sad?

is there even a 'somebody'?

i need giant windmills, and so i need a giant home as well. oh nevermind.

the temperature is oh so rising, so i call it 'officially summer' now... and because the only basis i have to say that it's 'officially summer' is invalid now, because that is in reference to ending of classes.

so i have to change parameters and base it solely on temperature.

yay summer!!
no for too much perspiring. it's really hot these days..


i don't know if i'm heading anywhere this summer. i am still jobless and unproductive. sometimes i get bored of being bored. sometimes i'm quite relieved that i don't have to deal with early morning traffic and because i suck big time at waking up early.

i dug up some cds with pictures and i've seen some insane photography attempts of mine.

please forgive me for failing badly. LOLLL. these are taken during summer some years ago, in our rooftop, so it's still somewhat related to post these.

i am admitting it now. i've lost a lot of pounds of interest over JE fandom. and ryo included. i'm too lazy to download vids or download pictures. i still want to get a hold of it though. it has served a great amount of happiness to me over the past 2-3 years. my problem is, i don't really know what i want to do and accomplish first. what kind of crossroad is this?

pocari sundays, seven pm inventory

call me sadist or whatever but i would want to watch crows zero 2. ASAP. i want to see hard-headed hot guys scarring each others faces soon. i mean miura haruma is there. so i need to judge for myself.

*********************
over and done.

finally, three months is up and deadline has succumb. i'm back to the bum life. except that i have so many plans ahead for my career and my f*cking health.
i need iv training. i need it be accomplished.
i need to get a grip of my health.
i need my lungs checked up, my blood screened for things and such and such.
i had an unhealthy practice in the hospital, plus my immune system is blah, so i need to fucking hold on to a healthy me.
please help me take initiative and be responsible.

*********************

i didn't expect it to occur, but somehow, i'm going to miss my hospital duties. and most especially, the people i've spent almost twelve hours of each day with. for pals that have become friends. for gossips and patient TIA bad mouthings. though i became tired of long hours and days spent in the corners of the hospital, there were fun and happy conversations, tauntings and happenings.

*********************

where do i go from here?

unknown. AGAIN. (sh't i'm back to that word.)

wala.

parang ayoko ng magkaroon ng kaibigan. hehe
isa na itong burden.

parang pag nakisama ulit ako, i'll be listening to foreign language already.

so better yet, wag ng makipagmeet up.

obviously, they gave up on reaching out.

my fault, i admit.

i was too lazy and tired of listening to their personal life. puro storya din lang naman nila ang maririning. kasi uninterested din naman sila sa kung ano mang sasabihin ko.

so okay. i better partially and slowly close down the thought that i can still lean on them or tell stories to them or whatever lies between what friends should mutually do.

hay nako. sawang-sawa na ako sa mga rants na to sa kaibigan.

this is slowly and painfully becoming a BURDEN.

BURDEN.

ticket to brown

yellow jello mellow wellow helloooooo 2009!

just a few more days before my hospital training will be over. a part of me doesn't want it to end, but a larger part of me wants to just get it over with and live a bum life again to finish my drama list. i learned a lot and is still learning a loy more. i don't know if i've improved a lot though. there are still circumstances where i am such a nuisance. but i became familiar with the set-up and i managed to somehow see the real RN persona.

johnny's countdown was bland. i love last year's a whole lot better. a factor of which is because tackey was somewhere, kinkikids was in osaka, while everybody else were in tokyo. THEY WERE NOT TOGETHER IN ONE VENUE. WHICH IS A COMPLETE FAILURE.

and it made me realize, i do not know the names of senpais. except the very famous ones. i technically forget them again and again.

*i hope there'll be more ryo dramas please.
*i wish for another country-escape.
*i wish to afford more je goodies
*i wish i could finish watching all dramas i wanted to watch
*i will buy more brown clothing because it's a lucky color, and i'm soo loving it more and more
*i am hoping full swing that i'll be able to fix the broken fragments of my life. (uh, drama)

hoping for a great and healthy year for everyone!!

ox-y doxy

uh, we're down down down to the last few hours of 2008.

this will probably be the last post of 2008. except if fangirling over johnny's countdown overpowers. and i shall be able to make an end-of-year flailing-massacre post. yey.

2008 was a good year for me.

i graduated and got my degree. i passed my NLE, attach RN (ryo nishikido) to my name and i was able to find a hospital to have training. i was also able to visit my bro in singapore. and bum around for nearly five months.

it was also a lucky year for ryo, i believe.

2 dramas. 1 special with uchi.
winning 2 best supporting actor awards
and being well-loved taisuke in RnK.
both NEWS and eito were successful as well.

what's for this coming year?
i won't quit fangirling any sooner.
i hope to find a job and earn.
i wish my computer won't be such a retard.
i am looking forward for happiness.

**on a sad note, my grandmother passsed away yesterday. this is a sad way of starting a new year. she has stayed as the strongest grandmother althroughout her days.

eternal rest grant her soul oh Lord

'i am a sadist.' -ampule

i still can't create a ryo-(post)-birthday post (the hell with me.) for now, because the computer is infected with malignancy again, for the 8656267517670 times. so i promise i'll create one as soon as i have a well-groomed pc and mecha time.

okay. for now. let's stick to my stories.

one: the hate that dear ampule directs to me

i have a life now. (yay!). i volunteered as an RN at a secondary hospital near our subdivision. it's like a 'welcome-to-the-real-life-of-a-staff-RN-party'. this is something real now. not that duty days during college were fraud, but more of something that you have to do decision making on your own now. the staff at the hospital are very accommodating and nice. even the doctors give their share of jokes and smiles. i'm still striving though to what things i should do during shifts. damn, it's so hard to be a neophyte. and ampules are giving me a hard time. why can't it just break without making my fingers bleed. you'll have your day ampule. hah.

two: his chest, his chest

there is a good-looking doctor in the hospital. he is also a new doctor there so he just came in like a 'woah'. i mean he's good looking in my opinion (and so as what other staff says). but i don't know his name. it's too hard to remember and pronounce. so i'll just call him Dr. R.O.D. and his chest? nah, nevermind. i would rather not say something about it.

three: of IV, plain NSS and backflow

today, nov. 7, 2008 is by far the most tiring duty i ever had my whole life. we had 10 admissions. i was running from third floor up down, then up again, then down again. my feet barely survived this day. until now, when i step my feet, my heels are screaming in pain. it's such a tiring day, but a very fulfilling one. i hope i'd be able to improve my skills. that's my big dream.

four: four, episode four

i love ryusei no kizuna, and i can't can't can't get enough of it. and i've realized what i love most from this dorama. it's the very warm relationship of the siblings. i even like the little koichi, taisuke and shizuna. they're so adorable.
i watched tonight's episode at a very very reliable live streaming link (which i don't know what its name is) and there was no buffering. it's like watching it in our very own tv. i really laugh out loud loud loud loud louder loudest at thug taisuke. because ryo as a hiphop, blingbling, 'yo my man' thug IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT. ("N-A-O. nao-chan, yeahhhh") (wait a minute, the scrub suit i wore today looked like hiphop on me, imo, because it's very loose. LOL. blingbling taisuke premonition.) and my most loved scene was when taisuke & shii were walking along the seawall (i am not sure what the exact term for that particular structure is) while shi was like pushing her tai-nee and they were laughing at their aniki. aww that sibling bond is mucho love.

five: no, not yet enough

otanjoubi omedetou ryo-chan!!

route nowhere

!!MEME POST!!

i was asked to answer this in the multiply site. but i'll do it here instead. :)


THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. nov
2. len
3. nobu (c/o megy)
[... and so many other creative nicknames done by 'awesome' friends, like nobita, novelbine, etc]

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
(i am not a celebrity.) usernames i use in information superhiway if that's what you refer about:
1. gelatinsky
2. notnoberene
3. gelatinreiko

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. hair
2. smile :D
3. no more. LOL

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. .003% japanese
2. full-blooded filipino
3. Xp

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. flying gokiburi (damn. i feel helpless when i see flying roaches)
2. hold-up man.. LOL
3. darkness??

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. prayers (exactly jem.)
2. hanky
3. hair comb

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. my glasses
2. house clothes
3. reindeer antlers (haha, i always like wearing it, while i'm in front of the pc these past few days, oh the Christmas feeling..)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. NEWS IS A BOY BAND (boy band is still a band, right?)
2. kanjani8
3. parokya ni edgar & the ever so popular eraserheads

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS: (right now)
1. nande nande dame by NEWS (i still can't memorize the entire song!)
2. lovestoned by justin timberlake
3. i love you always forever by diana lewis (because of the doug kramer-cheska garcia wedding that i recently watched)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
(i had a hard time answering this. crap.)
1. happiness?
2. trust?
3. acceptance?
(what nonsense answers!! LOL)


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I’m happy right now
2. I’m not happy right now
3. I’m wearing reindeer antlers (wtf)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. for-the-win smile (which can serve as ulam in every meal..)
2. eyes that melts
3. ... (can't think of anything else)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1.watching jdoramas and other series
2. internet galore
3. sleeping!!!! (definitely.)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. get my self together. (i am damn shattered.)
2. finish downloads
3. eliminate procrastinating attitude

THREE SITES YOU ALWAYS VISIT:
1. livejournal
2. blogspot
3. multiply & facebook

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. nurse
2. doctor
3. pilot
4. cashier (because i want to hit the cash register and listen to the amusing sound!)
[and so many more: interior designer (my frustration), astronaut and english teacher in japan (LOL)]

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan (nobody guessed that for sure!!!!)
2. HAWAII (DEFINITELY!!!)
3. Italy

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. cruise
2. watch a NEWS or Kanjani8 concert
3. build a snowman :)

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. stays in front of the pc for hourssssss
2. doesn't want to spend too much time shopping and going around mall
3. i am amazingly well at slacking off

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. the mood swings
2. i have female reproductive organs (lol)
3. hopeless romantic (yes, i am.)

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. ryo nishikido (really?????)
2. zanjoe marudo
3. hayami mocomichi and mizushima hiro (they come as a package. hihi)

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. not
2. really
3. applicable to be answered

how can i be purple?

i am going to list down my exact exact exact thoughts right now. this is probably going to be emo, just to warn. because i think laying these down would help me ease up.

1. ?

i am in total question mark when asked what i want to do. I DO NOT KNOW. some of my friends have their jobs already, of course not as RNs, but in the field of customer service. if you'd ask me if i want to enter that field too, i'd say with all honesty that 'yes' but solely because of the salary. i have a lot in mind of what to do with that salary. i want to help with house expenses, and buy things that i want. and because after 4 months of finishing NLE, i still belong to the unproductive category of this nation. BUT. i am torn with the next option of wanting to be a hospital volunteer. i can't just let my four years of college learning (+ 2 more months) slip through my mind. and what's the use of gaining license and not using it. plus, having trainings would allow me to enhance clinical skills, and be used for future employment, where ever it may be.

2. this, that, then that and this

i am such a lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy person. i just stay at home. watch tv, internet, sleep. THE IDEAL BUM LIFE IT IS. i have reasons why i don't want to pass my resume to both customer service company and hospital (as volunteer). (a.) i am lazy. i can't get up early and push myself to walk outside our house. (b.) my resume is nonsense. a piece of paper that just has no impact at all. i have no confidence with it because i don't know how to properly make one and no matter what i do, i was never an active student/citizen. damn. and what's more? i lack seminars and workshops. (c.) i don't know where to start (which sounds like reason a). (d.) i want to finish downloading a lot of things (which seems unending because every waking day there is another one waiting to be downloaded, and so how about the past ones? shit.)

3. look at them

my friends, my classmates they're heading to their paths. i am bothered because i am NOT bothered. like when they're saying and writing that they passed their resume here, there, all i can say is 'okay'. wait, since i wrote that i am bothered that i am not bothered, so probably i am bothered just for real. (damn, so confusing). okay, okay. rephrase. i think, I USED TO BE BOTHERED. because they had attended so many seminars and i haven't, they have passed their resumes and i haven't even created mine, and their life is going somewhere while mine is staying at home. which made me resort to just creating a reason that 'i am going nowhere, i'll wait till my sun shine towards a certain path' ---> so not good. and i offer that reason always when i hear their new stories ---> so so not good again.

4. blah

i don't want to ask anymore from my otousan, because every time i ask for something, he's just giving me nonstop list of qualms.complains.

5. not again
i'd want to go and do my own life alone. alone and independent of friends. yes, it's because of this.

6. i want to lose weight. LOL.



---> i think my prediction is wrong and this entry didn't sound emo at all.